From: "Dr. D. Kossove" <doctordee@telkomsa.net>
Subject: Darcey's question  -- working iwth doctors
Date: Sunday, January 25, 2004 1:51 PM

Last week I was in Florida and the speaker at the conference mentioned he is writing a book about supporting people going through cancer.  I am filling out a survey sharing my experiences dealing with people.  One of the questions is

1.      How could you or a loved one communicate to oncologists or other medical personnel that you understand that the medical professionals have many patients but you have only one patient to care for and focus on? Therefore, at times, you will perhaps know more about yourself or your loved one than the medical personnel do and are able to be more intense in your focus, and that this is perfectly understandable. How can this free you and the medical personnel to become better partners?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am the wrong one to ask about this, Darcey, since I think I do acknowledge that, and of course, being a pediatrician, HAVE to acknowledge that and MUST work with parents as partners...   But also do this with my other patients as well.  I acknowledge that they are coming to me for diagnosis and advice, and I educate them as to what is going on and why i think it is going on, and what can be done about it.  It is a Problem-Oriented and Evidence-Based Holistic approach.

A. It just happens naturally, as you or your loved one brings a set of questions [including symptoms] to the doctor appointments.  As the nursing personnel evaluate your care and family.  As you learn more and more and bring questions at different levels to the appointments, which have now become discussions.  

B. If it doesn't just happen, despite your wish to work WITH the medical personnel then you need to discuss it.   If there are problems, there are often ego problems somewhere...  that someone has to be The Knowledgeable Source and In Control.  Little do they know that YOU are really in control... and can change doctors like a snap of the fingers.  But these obstructive doctors, who do not listen and are ignorant of your rare disease but insist on treating it by themselves, are not good quality and should be dumped, if at all possible.  

C. The only time this would actually be discussed would probably be during the first appointment.  If then.  When I am a patient, my doctors get a good dose of me at my most difficult at the first appointment.  If they can work with that, and I like how they do, we are in a partnership together.  Which they find out later.  


 